all caught up

I had this thought a couple of weeks ago that the “older” men that I used to get crushes on when I was in my 20’s, are now my age. In other words, back then I never really wanted to date anyone my own age. I was always interested in people who were about 20 years older than me. But I didn’t fall into the “cute 20 year old” category so I never actually got asked out by any of them. I still get crushes on those same aged men, and what I’m hoping is that I make a cuter 40-something than I did a 20 year old and that now those guys might actually be available.

If I had written an on line dating profile back then, it would have read something like this:

Single 20-something college dropout gone barista with own car, sense of adventure and a schnauzer seeks partner in crime. You will indulge me in late night shenanigans; impromptu drives to the beach and Sushi at random hours of the day. I’ll sew on your buttons, encourage your art and tell you dirty limericks. Night time schedule is preferred, especially if you ever want to hang out while I’m awake.

I probably would have added something in there about dancing with my girlfriends every Saturday night being non negotiable and beer.

Who actually wants to be out dating? Hardly anyone. Every single person I’ve talked to in the last 11 months has said that they would never want to be dating again, or that they are dating and they hate it. It’s hard to get to know someone new and share all your secrets with them, only to have it not work out. It’s hard to just meet a person that you’re willing share with at all. I suspect that is why so many people hang on to relationships that aren’t entirely healthy – fear of being back out in the sea of singles.

My dating profile has changed a little bit in the last twenty years, since I’ve been out of the dating scene:

Single 40-some odd, divorced mother with full time job and parenting duties seeks middle aged, slightly over weight nerd with glasses and at least one twenty sided die; facial hair optional. You will find my annoying habits charming, clean up after yourself, chase me around the house like a horny teenager, and never leave the toilet seat up. I will stroke your ego daily, give higher than average quality foot rubs, watch action movies with you and laugh at your jokes. Together we will judge other people’s choice to shop at Ikea, bake chocolate chip cookies and not share them with the kids and snuggle for at least an hour a day.

Ask for exactly what you want. What is there to lose?