Hey, bra designers of the world, can you please get your
collective shit together and make a bra that not only works, but also doesn’t
make me want to join a nudist colony?
As a plus size lady for pretty much all my life, even before
there was such a thing as a “plus size”,
I can tell you this one fact about clothing: bras suck. I don’t think they only
suck for women who are under a size 12, either. I think that bras suck in
general, but my experience is predominately with bras in larger sizes. So that is
where the complaining will take place.
I am about a size 18 (depending on the brand of clothing)
and I do not have large breasts. In fact, I would probably fit into a very modest B cup. My problem is that I have a large rib cage and I’m fat. So I need something that 44” around. Try to find a bra that is a 44B. You can’t. Believe me, I’ve
tried. I would like a cute bra, in my size, which can be worn with clothing
that isn’t a potato sack. I know, it sounds crazy! I have had one or two, but inevitably they wear out,
being the only couple of bras in my possession that don’t piss me off, and then
when I try to go back and buy more, the style has been discontinued or changed
in a way that makes them no longer appropriate. Bah Humbug! I am seriously
contemplating getting a boob job so that I can wear a size bra that exists and
doesn’t cause these types of bruises on my body:
Photographic evidence of injury done to person by afore mentioned undergarment:
This is the spot where the underwire rubs against me the most. This is from a normal bra - the underwire was NOT protruding (YET) from the bra, it's there mostly for torture and general discomfort. This picture was taken after the garment in question had been removed after approximately 10 hours of normal wear.
This picture was taken a full 24 hours later, lest you wonder if the marks on the first picture were merely an impression made by the garment. Nope. Bruises. They will purple up nicely.
It should not be too much to ask a designer, any designer, to come
up with a plan for making bras that fit actual people and not some vague
interpretation of a human form that doesn’t actually exist.
And while I’m at it, can we please do something about
underwires?? If we can get a flying machine into outer space, we should damn
well be able to create a structured garment that doesn’t suddenly, in the
middle of your day, become unhinged and leave you with a bare wire poking into
your flesh. How is that even reasonable?
Is there a comparable garment for men? No. Does any undergarment in the
average man’s closet (assuming you are wearing traditional male attire – I’m
sure there are plenty of men out there who are as pissed off about bras as I
am) even have a wire infrastructure? I can’t think of one.
Don’t even get me started on Spanx.
In closing, it seems that I am going to be forced into:
A. not
ever wearing a bra again
B. wearing
something that looks like a bra, but is really only the suggestion of a bra and
will make me wonder all day why I didn’t go with option A
C. pay
a gazillion dollars to have a designer design and produce a bra specifically for my body
D. keep
wearing ill fitting bras that leave bruises on my delicate flesh
It’s not looking good.
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