30 Day Drawing Challenge - Day 11

Turning Point

Am I the only one who was obsessed with Mikhail Baryshnikov in the 80’s? The movie White Nights was the first thing – Gregory Hines was amazing also. But then I watched The Turning Point about 50 times over a summer. Mikhail was just so dreamy! And young Shirley MacLaine- awesome.

But I digress. The drawing challenge for Day 11(via The Dawnie Project ) is A Turning Point in Your Life.

Without question the biggest turning point in my life was the birth of my son.

The drawing is nothing to write home about, or blog about, for that matter. But it is an excuse to write about one of the most profound things I've been through. Before the birth I had a dream so vivid that the content of it has never left my consciousness. In my dream I was walking in an industrial area, between huge warehouses in various stages of disrepair. I came to one where there was a line of people waiting outside to get in. In my dream I got in the line, not knowing fully what everyone was waiting for, but knowing that I was supposed to be in the line. There was an anxious energy with all the people in the line, but no one was speaking. It was quiet except for the shuffling of feet on the gravel. As I got up to the front of the line, and the door of the warehouse, I could finally see a into the dark interior and make out what was happening. At the front of the line, someone was there giving each person waiting a shroud made out of a rough fabric, like burlap, but dark brown. We were to put them on before entering. The shrouds were to make it easier for the people inside to light us on fire! I became extremely nervous and agitated, but I did not leave the line. I knew that this was supposed to happen, even if I was terrified of the pain, of what would happen to me when the burning was over, how disfigured I would be, if I even survived the process. But I put on the shroud and entered, prepared to accept my fate. The floor was dirt and there were small, cot-like pallets, close to the ground, in rows and there were people guiding everyone to their own space. I was guided to lay down on the pallet and I did. The guides were gentle but silent. My shroud was lit without ceremony, and I was thrilled to realize that the fire was painless! In fact, I felt a sort of euphoria and a letting go; it was as if all the things I didn’t need any more were being taken away by the flames and I was being cleansed. Before very long, the guide began putting out my fire. I asked for her to please let it keep going, I wanted everything to be burned away until I was brand new again. She replied that I would have to come back again some other time – later. Then I was guided out of the warehouse and into the light.

I woke up to my first contraction.

It was a long but relatively uneventful, drug free labor. I was watched over by three women who I am forever indebted to for putting up with me in that state for that many hours. My son was perfect and I did indeed feel like both he and I had just been through a birth, on many levels. It was transforming.